The 536th Annual Vampire Awards

Vampire's Castle aka The Tower of Shadows  See more of this artwork at http://redhoodstudio.pl/o-firmie

Every year, The Nether Realm has a gothic, luxurious banquet for vampires and their guests.  It is a “by invitation only” gala event. You cannot get past the lion statues poised at the front stone gate without producing the written invitation. It is rumored that these lions will come to life and attack you if you are caught attempting to crash the party.  It may be worth the risk. There are glamorous gowns, elegant tuxedos, divine decor, the most wonderful wine any world could offer, and food that is a feast for all the senses.  Yes, they have real food there (for the guests not the vampires) and no they are not trying to fatten people up to drink their blood. They have not done that for over 300 years despite what Bram Stoker says. 

 

The Nether Realm’s 536th Annual Vampire Awards Night was held on Saturday, December 12, 2015. 

The theme at this year’s event was: “Be responsible. Be kind.” A grand prize was given to the vampire who had drawn the most blood without turning or killing its donor. The grand prize was a fabulous all-inclusive trip for two to the romantic resort known as Camelot for an entire week of feasting, jousting, dancing, and hunting.  Here are this year’s winners:

Camelot



1st place Lucius DuGreco aka the King of Vampires

Lucius has been successfully draining blood since the late 17th Century.  With the help of an influential physician, Lucius has developed a system to perform blood transfusions.  These transfusions were often very dangerous to the subjects.  Knowing that this procedure would help his kind and the human race, Lucius worked diligently to perfect the procedure so that no one would get hurt.  Because of his perseverance, determination, and compassion for all living things, he succeeded in his quest.  Since then, blood is donated, the subjects are safe and vampires are well fed.
 

2nd place Nico Adessi, Vineyard Owner
Nico has always been a strong supporter of the blood drive in Europe.  He and his wine company have what many people call "Blood Parties”.  He supplies good food at the blood drive for those who give and a small bottle of champagne to every 15th person for their troubles.
He also throws lavish fundraisers where he encourages others to donate blood. All the proceeds are sent directly to the blood bank.   

 

3rd place. Jaqueline Mallory, Famous Artist

A blood drive activist, Jacqueline volunteers for any blood donor clinic in the Nether Realm or Earth Realm that she happens to be near.  She watches over the people giving blood there to reassure and comfort them with her gentle but witty bedside manner.  She uses her influence in the art world to spread the word about the need for blood.  She rarely fails to bring up the subject.   She mentions it in all of her lectures at art schools and during her art shows, classes and workshops.  

It's true that the way vampires get blood hasn't always been humane. But we shouldn’t be too judgemental because historically humans haven’t always been particularly humane in getting their food either.  We need to eat to survive and will get our food wherever and however we must.   Thankfully, we all have grown and evolved.  We now live in time when we have more options and most of us try to do things (even hunt) in the most benign way possible.  So for the sake of both vampires and humans be sure to donate at your local blood clinic.  We need it. Blood is the gift of life.  Wouldn’t this be a fabulous Christmas gift?


 

Tips on packing

The holidays are coming up and vacation time is upon us.  It goes without saying (even though I am saying it) that you probably have to pack a suitcase.  It doesn't matter who you are or where you are going, planning and being prepared starts with what you pack.  Whether you are an angel or a zombie you will need a bit of this and that.  Even the yeti needs to pack a thing or two (just ask Bob packing is his favorite topic).  You could be leaving for a week or month but it is important to remember these tips.

• When choosing your clothes, pick multipurpose items that can be used more than once.
• Plan to dress in layers because you never know what you will need.  The weather can change like the flip of a coin. 
• Roll your clothes rather than fold them.  They are least likely to wrinkle, crinkle or other annoying "inkles". 
• Bring toiletries but keep them to a minimum.  Take small, multipurpose items.  If you run out, you can usually replace these items at relatively inexpensive prices.  Also you will often find complementary toiletries in your hotel room. 
• Leave room for gifts and be sure to make them small.  Your friends/family will love you for an exotic present and its a good way to share your story. 
• Bring a small and simple first aid kit.  These are easy to find.  You can get them at the drug store but as I am into green living (I think that's what the humans call it),  I prefer to make my own with what I get at organic health food stores.  I feel it's always best to go as natural as you can, so I prefer to pack things like witch hazel extract, lavender essential oil, aloe vera gel, etc.  Don't forget the practical things as well like band aids, rubbing alcohol, scissor/tweezers, etc. 
• Accessorize but leave the bling at home.  A little jewel here and there is fine but when you wear something that has alot of rinestones or real stones, they can snag on your clothes and just otherwise annoy you.  Pack things like a scarf (multipurpose and classy), elastic bracelets (can be really nice hair ties), and a colorful necklace (one I never leave home without) that is more portable. 
• Have a swiss army knife with several functions in your suitcase.  You will find that this comes in handy so many times.  For example, If you have a spork on yours, you can eat out a little easier.  And a corkscrew may be essential.   
• The best of best packing advice comes from a very wise woman that I met at the "Prickly Apothecary" told me this.  Put everything (clothes, jewelry, toiletries, etc) in ziplock bags.  Mark the bags to record what is in them.  For example, I usually have one bag for panties, one bag for bras, one bag for socks, and several bags with t-shirts, dresses, and blouses.  I even put my shoes in ziplock bags.  Then you can rifle through your suitcase to find a specific item without messing everything up.  If you do this, your clothes will stay fresh, pressed and it will keep anything nasty from crawling in there.  You will still have to wash everything after your trip is over but life will be much easier with this piece of advice.

Those are some of the best tips I can give you when it comes to packing.  Being an avid traveller is fun but it isn't easy especially when it comes to wrangling suitcases.  That is why you will want to pack light and smart.  Happy packing friends and keep everything light!

PS:  Birthday suit is good but keep it in your room because humans go crazy at the sight of it (no matter who you are). 

Dragon Fire Tonic: Fights a Cold and Flu

Got a cold?  Or a flu?  It's can be miserable when you get sick with these two ailments.  That's why I have a recipe here from the Nether Realm that will help.  It is a very simple recipe and a surprisingly tasty one too.  According to all the best wizards, witches and witch doctors it is the best tasting medicine in all of the Nether Realm and fast acting too.  It has been developed and adjusted over centuries and with a little help from the dragon's fire, we got the best medicine we could ask for.  Here is the recipe:

Ingredients

1 cup of Orange juice
1 teaspoon of Lemon juice
1 squirt of Honey
1/8 teaspoon of Ginger
1/8 teaspoon of Turmeric
1 tiny pinch of Cayenne Pepper
1 stick of Cinnamon

Instructions

1. Mix the first six ingredients together.
2. If you are in the Nether Realm and have a dragon present or have access to a dragon's den, have the animal breath fire for about 2 seconds to heat the concoction.  If you are in the Earth Realm, put the mixture in a microwave safe container and heat for 2 minutes.
3. Pour into a cup, add the cinnamon stick to stir.
4. Wave your hand over the concoction while focusing on its power to heal.  This will transfer your positive energy into it and therefore making it more potent.
5. Drink it slowly and enjoy! 

*Helpful tips:

·         Try to do this as organic as possible.  It works better this way.

·         Watch out!  It may be hotter than hellfire!

You may never find a dragon in the Earth Realm but that doesn't mean you can't have a spicy tonic inspired and perfected by them.  It will fix you right up and have you feeling great in no time.  To quote the witch doctor that first gave the recipe to me, “The heat of the dragon energize thee." 

 

How did this recipe work for all of you?

Bluebirds, Butterflies and the Nether Realm Social Media

With winter approaching here in Calgary, I am reminded of how much I miss forms of communication that we use back in the Nether Realm.  Here in the Earth Realm we have tweets, texts and other social media but in the Nether Realm we rely primarily on bluebirds and butterflies.  They all fly, flutter and flit through the sky seemingly as free as free can be.  I love watching all of the butterflies and birds in the sky.  It's like watching a firework display in the daytime.  I'm always happy to see one of these creatures perched on my window sill.  They usually bring good news. 

 

It's just like the song "The Bluebird of Happiness" by Sandor Harmati, Edward Heyman and Harry Parr-Davies: 

Be like I, hold your head up high,
Till you find a bluebird of happiness.
You will find greater peace of mind
Knowing there's a bluebird of happiness.

And when he sings to you,

Though you’re deep in blue,

You will see a ray of light creep through,

And so remember this, life is no abyss,

Somewhere there’s a bluebird of happiness.

Charles Dickens wrote, “I only ask to be free.  The butterflies are free”. 

 But even bluebirds and butterflies have a responsibilities in the Nether Realm.  They are more than happy to carry out their duty as messengers of the Faye Clan. Back in the Nether Realm I would send off a blue bird and two butterflies in the morning.  The bluebird was for "The Parchment News" (who I also write for) and my butterflies went to my mother and my friend.  While I waited for my little messengers to come back, I had a cup of tea with a little breakfast and got ready for my day.   I usually got my return messages after I left my home and while walking through the Mystinia Forest. The butterflies would land on my shoulder to whisper in my ear. The bluebird would land on my finger to tweet his message. Often these creatures brought small gifts with them.  The last time I was there, I got a magic ring from a butterfly.  I wear it all the time and I consider it my totem.

When there is an emergency or urgency, we call upon the wisps.  These orbs of light are almost as fast as telepathy. Only Mystics are actually capable of telepathy but we do not use it for frivolous matters.  We Mystics are rarely concerned about whether or not we get a quick message because we know that we will get it when we are meant to.  Back in the Nether Realm, we view time very differently than the Earth Realm.  I find that the Earth Realm is really rushed. Like most mystics, I'm not a rusher.  I like to take my time.  So you see, the bluebirds and butterflies may not be as fast as an email but they are reliable and effective.  And we fairies love them!

  Like Carrie Bradshaw (from Sex in the City) says, "Don't settle for anything less than butterflies."We mystics don't settle for anything less but we like our bluebirds too.  My advice to you my favorite readers is to remember these words. These creatures are light, beautiful, and happy. Make time for the birds and the butterflies. 

 

Remembrance Day

In Flanders Fields
by John McCrae, May 1915

 

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

 

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

 

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

The poem of Flanders Fields honors the soldiers that are fallen in war.  These soldiers paid the ultimate price to preserve and protect our way of life.  But let us not forget the brave soldiers who are alive and are still fighting for our freedom.  Lest we forget, war is hell.  We lose good people to it and damage those who live through it.  I describe myself as a carefree spirit and many people have fought hard to make that possible.  So to all of you who have served our country...Thank you.

Monster Cookies

October is all about monster mayhem.  Monster movies, monster costumes and (as I have discovered) monster trucks.  Now that November is here and the festivies are done, we have to forget all of that until next year.  Luckily, I have a monsterously magnificient momento to remember the Halloween season.  A recipe for monster cookies.  Everyone is afraid of a monster but these monster's are friendly and yummy.  Don't worry they like to be eaten so its not animal/monster cruelty.   



You will need:

1 Angel Food Cake Mix Box (I prefer nice monsters)

2 Cups of M&Ms

½ cup of softened butter (take out first thing in the morning and let sit) 

½ tsp. vanilla

1 softened 8 oz. Cream Cheese Bar (take out first thing in the morning and let sit)

1 egg

Powdered Sugar

Food Coloring

Candy Eyeballs (I found these in Michaels but you can find them in any craft store)

Instructions

1. Beat butter, vanilla, egg and cream cheese together in a large bowl until fluffy.
2. Add the cake mix, then divide batter into bowls for the amount of colors you want.
3. Add food coloring for your desired color to each individual bowl and mix until all combined.
4. Divide M&Ms into different colors (This is optional) and add them into your cookie mix.  Stir
5. Put batter in refridgerator for 30 minutes to chill.
6. Take out of Refridgerater, roll into balls and dip in a bowl of powdered sugar.
7. Place the balls on greased cookie sheet and pat down slightly.
8. Bake at 350 for 10-12 minutes
9. Add candy eyeballs on while cookies are still warm.  
10. Eat, Exchange and Enjoy!

 

As you can see that these cookies are easy to make and are ready in a flash.  Kids love them (Don't worry.  They won't be scared), and they are very popular at bake sales.  You make one batch of these beauties and BAM!  Watch them disappear as fast as the last month does.  My mother always says to keep the monsters outside but these cookies are too good to pass up.  They are a friendly reminder of my favorite holiday.  How do you remember your Halloween?

 

 

Apple Peel True Love Reveal

Who wants to find out a little something about your future life partner?  There is a spell we use back home to find out who our mate for life is going to be.  The humans in the Earth Realm like to do this on Halloween but you can do this anytime in the autumn.   It is very simple. You take an apple and peel its skin off in one long piece with a paring knife.  As you do this, say:
 

This apple that I peel
My true love's letter I reveal
As it finds its way to the ground
Help my love mate's name be found
 

When you drop the peel it will land in the shape of the first initial of your true love’s name.  It is only a clue but now that you know the first initial all you have to do next is find your soulmate. 

At least you will be able to keep this in mind when you meet new people or look at your friends in a new way.  Now go on and have a glass of wine with your apple and cheese to celebrate.